Trump After Dark

Denmark no longer sleeps. The country lives on Trump Alert. Midnight in Copenhagen now simply means waiting for the next remark from Washington, while the Night Shift stands watch, monitoring the nightly Greenland anxiety stream in real time.

Denmark, it seems, has quietly developed a nocturnal early-warning system. Not against Russia, or even against migration, but against the nightly remarks of the former President of the United States concerning Greenland. In Copenhagen, they now have what is informally called a “night watch.” Its sole duty: to monitor whatever Trump may say or do overnight about buying, pressuring, partitioning, or otherwise liberating Greenland from Danish custody.

A team reports for duty at 17:00 and watches through the night. By 07:00, they prepare a concise briefing on everything Trump has uttered or implied regarding Danish territory. The memo is sent to key ministries and bureaucracies before officials have even had their first coffee. As the Foreign Ministry put it, this helps “prevent senior officials from waking up in panic at 3 a.m. to check their phones for new Greenland surprises.” Now a trained group handles the task “collectively,” while the rest of the government tries to sleep.

It is, in effect, a small Scandinavian therapy mechanism — protection from what diplomats politely call “strategic unpredictability.”

A folk tale updated: how one man sent an entire civilized country into low-grade, institutionalized paranoia.